Film Review: Silent Rage (1982)
So, I realized that I own a good number of films on DVD that I haven't watched before. Same case with a bunch of public domain ones I got off the Internet Archive. So, I figured, why not finally watch them and do reviews while I'm at it?
If I could get screenshots from the films on my DVR and the ones I watch in theaters, I'd do some of those, too, but whatever. I'm expecting most of these DVD and downloaded films to be bad, so this might be pretty fun. And I'm going to spoil the heck out of these things because I'm going to dissect them as much as I want.
Also, I'll probably review other films I own on DVD that I have watched before. Actually, I'll review anything I darn well please. Okay? Just expect a Manhunter review after I actually read Red Dragon. Because that film is great, you guys.
The very first victim of this blog's film reviews is the 1982 sci-fi action Chuck Norris slasher film, Silent Rage.
First off, you must understand that I love Chuck Norris films. Not because I think he's a great actor (honestly, he has had some really great moments throughout his career, but he's never been completely horrible either), but because they're mostly all pretty entertaining. And Walker, Texas Ranger is one of the greatest comedy television shows ever made.
Second, this film has the greatest tagline ever given to any motion picture, period:
Third, this film was clearly one of the many films made during the slasher craze of the '70s and '80s, sparked by one of my personal favorites, John Carpenter's 1978 classic, Halloween. But in this film, our bad guy is created by science, therefore Chuck Norris must now destroy him. There's just no other way. Charles Bronson couldn't do it. Burt Reynolds couldn't do it. Mr. Rogers couldn't do it. So it must be Chuck Norris.
So does Chuck fulfill his destiny? We shall find out.I'll go over the major plot points. There's a few scenes that don't really have any purpose.
The film begins with the opening credits. Alongside them is this window.
I thought this window would be significant. Knowing I was watching a Chuck Norris film, I was fully expecting someone to come crashing through it. However, we soon find out that it's just a window in the bedroom of John Kirby (played by Brian Libby). He wakes up to some lady banging on his door while kids play loudly (and swearing, A LOT). Kirby has a phone call from his doctor and tells him that he's "losin' it." He proceeds to indeed lose it and retrieves a woodcutting ax from outside and proceeds to murder the lady and some old guy with it, whose forehead makes a hilarious squishy noise when the ax collides with it.
Also, during this sequence when Kirby goes after the woman, we get a moment that totally isn't ripped out of a film that was released two years prior.
A mailman hears the woman's screams before she meets her end and the police are called to the scene, led by Sheriff Dan Stevens, played by the mustachioed and blond Chuck Norris.
So, basically, Sheriff Dan investigates the house, fights with Kirby, who manages to slip out of the house. Our comic relief, Deputy Charlie (Stephen Furst), tries shooting him, but misses and nearly hits our hero, Sheriff Dan.
Sheriff Dan catches Kirby and takes him back to a squad car and Kirby's doctor, Tom (Ron Silver), arrives on scene. However, Kirby breaks his cuffs and the entire door off of the squad car before attacking police officers, leading to him being shot several times.
When Kirby is taken to the hospital, his psychiatrist works with two genetic engineers to try and save his life. Why genetic engineers? I have no idea. But against Tom's wishes, they save Kirby with a formula designed to promote cellular strength and regeneration, but renders him mute. Then wehave to get to see Sheriff Dan with his shirt off, because this is a Chuck Norris film.
Sheriff Dan then encounters an old flame, Alison (Toni Kalem), who happens to be Tom's sister. They meet each other at a water fountain that Dan drinks from and clearly fakes choking on the water before he tells Charlie to go away.
Some other scenes happen throughout here that don't matter at all, like Charlie falling in love with a woman who barely wears a shirt and tells dispatch about this instead of following Sheriff Dan's orders to call in backup to an bar they're busting, or something. In any case, this gives Chuck Norris a chance to fistfight several people. Because that's what kind of movie this is.
So Kirby is released into the wild and manages to murder Tom after being shot several times and falling down a flight of stairs and then proceeds to kill Tom's wife, Nancy (Stephanie Dunnam). Alison finds them and calls the police, who arrive as Kirby escapes.
Kirby goes to the hospital and kills the doctors that made him indestructible, and Sheriff Dan, Alison, and Charlie go as well, not knowing that Kirby is there. Charlie and Alison see Kirby and Charlie tries to arrest him, but is bear-hugged to death as Alison escapes.
Dan soon finds the dying Charlie, whose last words are "He hurt me. He hurt me bad." After Charlie dies in his arms, Dan soon comes to Alison's rescue, as she is about to be killed by Kirby. The Sheriff shoots Kirby several times, sending him flying out of a window.
Dan goes down to Kirby (assuming by using the stairs. The window is pretty high up, but the film cuts from Dan looking out the window to him approaching Kirby), and of course, believes him to be dead. But he forgets that science created him, as Kirby then recovers and tries strangling Dan. Alison, now in a car somehow, hits Kirby with it and they start driving as our villain hangs onto the vehicle. He climbs inside, prompting Dan and Alison to jump out, allowing Kirby to wreck.
Of course, the car explodes, because this is a movie and crashed cars always explode if you live in a movie. The explosion sets Kirby on fire, but he puts himself out in a nearby lake. He then emerges and fistfights Dan, who eventually throws him down a conveniently-placed well.
Sheriff Dan and Alison are completely relieved that this ordeal is all over. They walk away so that Dan can fill out the massive amounts of paperwork this thing will require, with all that property damage and whatnot. However, the camera pans over to the well... then inside the well, until suddenly...
If you can't tell what's going on there, Kirby's bursting out of the water, because he's still alive, of course. Spooky, right? Well, that's what happens in this thing. I'm not going to go into the technical aspects of this film too much, as it's mostly pretty generic. And they clearly tried to create a Halloween-esque atmosphere, but it didn't work.
As for who tried and failed at this attempt, this film was directed by Michael Miller. As I was not familiar with his name, I scrolled through his filmography and saw one film I recognized and got kind of excited that I'd actually seen something of his before, but then I realized it was Silent Rage, the very film I just finished watching moments before. I was tired.
Something I can always expect to be good in Chuck Norris films - or really any other film starring an actual martial artist - are the fistfights. Chuck always pulls them off well and they're fun to watch. Even though I'm sure a lot of them look largely the same. Many a roundhouse kick were made in Chuck's not-so-varied film and television career.
And something I can always expect to be bad in Chuck Norris films? I almost put a screenshot of one of Dan and Alison's love scenes here, but I didn't want to skip back to any of those to figure out which frame would best represent how bad they are. Out of all of the actors, nobody really stood out. Except maybe Ron Silver, because I initially thought he was doing an impression of Serpico-era Al Pacino.
Brian Libby as the villain wasn't bad, it's just that we see too much of him. Part of what made Michael Myers in Halloween so scary is the fact that we barely even get a good look at him through the whole film. Most of the time we see him, he's not totally in frame, or he's obscured by darkness. In this film, we see Kirby clearly all the time. And Brian Libby doesn't really have a scary presence.
The story isn't that great. It's just another re-hash of "indestructible bad guy kills a bunch of people" that didn't really work. But they tried. Really the only time it did work perfectly, in my opinion, was Halloween, but I clearly have a bias. Mostly what they did wrong was what I mentioned before: they failed on the creepy atmosphere. If they had someone, such as John Carpenter, who was capable in that field, this could have been pretty decent.
The music isn't anything to write home about. And the songs that play during some Dan and Alison scenes verge on bad.
I'm not sure what else to even go into. This film isn't one of the greatest things I've seen. And not even one of the worst things I've seen. Was it worth my time? Sure, any film is worth my time in some way, unless it's the 1998 remake of Psycho. As for where this falls in the Chuck Norris films I've seen? Not one of my favorites, nor would I really care to re-watch it, like I've seen The Delta Force many times. Granted, I was fourteen during most of the times I've watched that one.
Overall score: 5 out of 10
It's just plain average. It's laughably bad at times (like the squishy noise that is made by the first murder victim's head), but a lot of films of this era of slasher film are that way. Even some of the good ones. This one was unique by bringing in the science fiction stuff. And the martial arts brought by Norris were pretty unique for the genre, but none of it was really implemented into scenes that mattered to the story until the very last showdown.
Who would I recommend it to? Anyone who likes '80s slasher films or Chuck Norris films. Or if you like both, you should be checking this film out right now. It's available for rental or purchase on Amazon, so there's a good place to check it out. Or if you personally know me, borrow the DVD. And there's the RiffTrax version that's probably worthwhile.
Not a film for those that only want to watch good films. I am clearly not one of them. I watched It Came For Friendship But Found Food once.
So yeah, that's it for this one. This was fun to do, so I'll probably write more reviews in the future.
If I could get screenshots from the films on my DVR and the ones I watch in theaters, I'd do some of those, too, but whatever. I'm expecting most of these DVD and downloaded films to be bad, so this might be pretty fun. And I'm going to spoil the heck out of these things because I'm going to dissect them as much as I want.
Also, I'll probably review other films I own on DVD that I have watched before. Actually, I'll review anything I darn well please. Okay? Just expect a Manhunter review after I actually read Red Dragon. Because that film is great, you guys.
The very first victim of this blog's film reviews is the 1982 sci-fi action Chuck Norris slasher film, Silent Rage.
First off, you must understand that I love Chuck Norris films. Not because I think he's a great actor (honestly, he has had some really great moments throughout his career, but he's never been completely horrible either), but because they're mostly all pretty entertaining. And Walker, Texas Ranger is one of the greatest comedy television shows ever made.
Second, this film has the greatest tagline ever given to any motion picture, period:
 |
| Told ya. |
Third, this film was clearly one of the many films made during the slasher craze of the '70s and '80s, sparked by one of my personal favorites, John Carpenter's 1978 classic, Halloween. But in this film, our bad guy is created by science, therefore Chuck Norris must now destroy him. There's just no other way. Charles Bronson couldn't do it. Burt Reynolds couldn't do it. Mr. Rogers couldn't do it. So it must be Chuck Norris.
So does Chuck fulfill his destiny? We shall find out.I'll go over the major plot points. There's a few scenes that don't really have any purpose.
The film begins with the opening credits. Alongside them is this window.
I thought this window would be significant. Knowing I was watching a Chuck Norris film, I was fully expecting someone to come crashing through it. However, we soon find out that it's just a window in the bedroom of John Kirby (played by Brian Libby). He wakes up to some lady banging on his door while kids play loudly (and swearing, A LOT). Kirby has a phone call from his doctor and tells him that he's "losin' it." He proceeds to indeed lose it and retrieves a woodcutting ax from outside and proceeds to murder the lady and some old guy with it, whose forehead makes a hilarious squishy noise when the ax collides with it.
Also, during this sequence when Kirby goes after the woman, we get a moment that totally isn't ripped out of a film that was released two years prior.
 |
| "Here's Kirby!" |
So, basically, Sheriff Dan investigates the house, fights with Kirby, who manages to slip out of the house. Our comic relief, Deputy Charlie (Stephen Furst), tries shooting him, but misses and nearly hits our hero, Sheriff Dan.
 |
| Charlie likes to shoot. |
Sheriff Dan catches Kirby and takes him back to a squad car and Kirby's doctor, Tom (Ron Silver), arrives on scene. However, Kirby breaks his cuffs and the entire door off of the squad car before attacking police officers, leading to him being shot several times.
 |
| Deputy Charlie clearly had no part of this. |
When Kirby is taken to the hospital, his psychiatrist works with two genetic engineers to try and save his life. Why genetic engineers? I have no idea. But against Tom's wishes, they save Kirby with a formula designed to promote cellular strength and regeneration, but renders him mute. Then we
Sheriff Dan then encounters an old flame, Alison (Toni Kalem), who happens to be Tom's sister. They meet each other at a water fountain that Dan drinks from and clearly fakes choking on the water before he tells Charlie to go away.
 |
| Charlie likes to watch. |
Some other scenes happen throughout here that don't matter at all, like Charlie falling in love with a woman who barely wears a shirt and tells dispatch about this instead of following Sheriff Dan's orders to call in backup to an bar they're busting, or something. In any case, this gives Chuck Norris a chance to fistfight several people. Because that's what kind of movie this is.
 |
| Charlie likes to eat. |
So Kirby is released into the wild and manages to murder Tom after being shot several times and falling down a flight of stairs and then proceeds to kill Tom's wife, Nancy (Stephanie Dunnam). Alison finds them and calls the police, who arrive as Kirby escapes.
Kirby goes to the hospital and kills the doctors that made him indestructible, and Sheriff Dan, Alison, and Charlie go as well, not knowing that Kirby is there. Charlie and Alison see Kirby and Charlie tries to arrest him, but is bear-hugged to death as Alison escapes.
 |
| Not sure is Charlie likes this one. |
Dan soon finds the dying Charlie, whose last words are "He hurt me. He hurt me bad." After Charlie dies in his arms, Dan soon comes to Alison's rescue, as she is about to be killed by Kirby. The Sheriff shoots Kirby several times, sending him flying out of a window.
 |
| "Hi, Ma!" |
Dan goes down to Kirby (assuming by using the stairs. The window is pretty high up, but the film cuts from Dan looking out the window to him approaching Kirby), and of course, believes him to be dead. But he forgets that science created him, as Kirby then recovers and tries strangling Dan. Alison, now in a car somehow, hits Kirby with it and they start driving as our villain hangs onto the vehicle. He climbs inside, prompting Dan and Alison to jump out, allowing Kirby to wreck.
 |
| Science could not give him driver's ed. |
Of course, the car explodes, because this is a movie and crashed cars always explode if you live in a movie. The explosion sets Kirby on fire, but he puts himself out in a nearby lake. He then emerges and fistfights Dan, who eventually throws him down a conveniently-placed well.
 |
| "See you later, Ma!" |
Sheriff Dan and Alison are completely relieved that this ordeal is all over. They walk away so that Dan can fill out the massive amounts of paperwork this thing will require, with all that property damage and whatnot. However, the camera pans over to the well... then inside the well, until suddenly...
 |
| Science created him. Chuck Norris can only throw him into stagnant water. |
If you can't tell what's going on there, Kirby's bursting out of the water, because he's still alive, of course. Spooky, right? Well, that's what happens in this thing. I'm not going to go into the technical aspects of this film too much, as it's mostly pretty generic. And they clearly tried to create a Halloween-esque atmosphere, but it didn't work.
As for who tried and failed at this attempt, this film was directed by Michael Miller. As I was not familiar with his name, I scrolled through his filmography and saw one film I recognized and got kind of excited that I'd actually seen something of his before, but then I realized it was Silent Rage, the very film I just finished watching moments before. I was tired.
Something I can always expect to be good in Chuck Norris films - or really any other film starring an actual martial artist - are the fistfights. Chuck always pulls them off well and they're fun to watch. Even though I'm sure a lot of them look largely the same. Many a roundhouse kick were made in Chuck's not-so-varied film and television career.
And something I can always expect to be bad in Chuck Norris films? I almost put a screenshot of one of Dan and Alison's love scenes here, but I didn't want to skip back to any of those to figure out which frame would best represent how bad they are. Out of all of the actors, nobody really stood out. Except maybe Ron Silver, because I initially thought he was doing an impression of Serpico-era Al Pacino.
 |
| And I'm not entirely certain that beard is real. |
Brian Libby as the villain wasn't bad, it's just that we see too much of him. Part of what made Michael Myers in Halloween so scary is the fact that we barely even get a good look at him through the whole film. Most of the time we see him, he's not totally in frame, or he's obscured by darkness. In this film, we see Kirby clearly all the time. And Brian Libby doesn't really have a scary presence.
The story isn't that great. It's just another re-hash of "indestructible bad guy kills a bunch of people" that didn't really work. But they tried. Really the only time it did work perfectly, in my opinion, was Halloween, but I clearly have a bias. Mostly what they did wrong was what I mentioned before: they failed on the creepy atmosphere. If they had someone, such as John Carpenter, who was capable in that field, this could have been pretty decent.
The music isn't anything to write home about. And the songs that play during some Dan and Alison scenes verge on bad.
I'm not sure what else to even go into. This film isn't one of the greatest things I've seen. And not even one of the worst things I've seen. Was it worth my time? Sure, any film is worth my time in some way, unless it's the 1998 remake of Psycho. As for where this falls in the Chuck Norris films I've seen? Not one of my favorites, nor would I really care to re-watch it, like I've seen The Delta Force many times. Granted, I was fourteen during most of the times I've watched that one.
Overall score: 5 out of 10
It's just plain average. It's laughably bad at times (like the squishy noise that is made by the first murder victim's head), but a lot of films of this era of slasher film are that way. Even some of the good ones. This one was unique by bringing in the science fiction stuff. And the martial arts brought by Norris were pretty unique for the genre, but none of it was really implemented into scenes that mattered to the story until the very last showdown.
Who would I recommend it to? Anyone who likes '80s slasher films or Chuck Norris films. Or if you like both, you should be checking this film out right now. It's available for rental or purchase on Amazon, so there's a good place to check it out. Or if you personally know me, borrow the DVD. And there's the RiffTrax version that's probably worthwhile.
Not a film for those that only want to watch good films. I am clearly not one of them. I watched It Came For Friendship But Found Food once.
So yeah, that's it for this one. This was fun to do, so I'll probably write more reviews in the future.
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